Naughty or Nice?
Did you hear the news? Santa Claus is coming to town! We’re getting ready for Christmas at my house. Mom and Dad got 50 boxes out of the attic and now there are decorations all over the place. But it’s all so confusing to me.
For instance, take the pretty velvet blanket under the Christmas tree. It’s a really soft place to sleep. But Mom says it’s not really a blanket, it’s a “tree skirt” and she says I’m naughty if I rest there. She’s not buying my argument that trees don’t wear clothes. I have a rule in my house. If it’s on the floor, it’s mine. Here’s something else to ponder. If it looks like a blanket and it’s soft like a blanket, it’s a blanket.
Also, if it’s near the floor and I can reach it, it’s mine. So don’t hang pretty ornaments near the bottom of the tree. Don’t leave delicate stuff on the coffee table. And last, but not least, forget about all those stupid bells and angels you hang on door knobs. How am I supposed to know they aren’t my chewy toys? I certainly will not land on Santa’s naughty list if something accidently breaks when I’m in the near vicinity. And teeth marks don’t necessarily mean I was responsible. This isn’t CSI, you know! I swear the squirrels tried breaking and entering the other day.
To all the kitty cats out there: Go ahead and climb any tree that your humans bring into your house. Since they won’t let you outside (for your own good, I might add!) all cats should climb the Christmas tree, perch on its branches and play “bat the ball” with any ornaments they find there. Santa will not accuse a feline of “naughtiness” for following basic instincts. In fact, scolding a kitty for doing any of the above will actually land the human on the naughty list.
Humans will be accused of naughtiness for spending too much time baking, shopping and wrapping and therefore ignoring the needs of their pets. Remember: we don’t really care that it’s Christmas. We just want to spend time with you…and eat, sleep, walk and play. If you ignore us, we might just eat all the Christmas cookies! Or unwrap all the packages. As you will recall, if it’s on the floor, it’s mine.
So of all the things I’ve been blamed for, now you know I do not belong on the naughty list! Actually I’ve been a very good girl, as long as you forget that lack of sharing business. I’m great at the “unconditional love” thing. I give excellent kisses. I’m always happy to see my family and I haven’t bitten anyone (lately!) I asked for forgiveness when my teeth accidently connected with Dad’s toes. That’s all in the past and forgotten, right?
I think all dogs and cats belong on the nice list. Where would you be without us? Lonely, that’s where! Just think of how our wags and purrs make you smile. We get you off the couch. We alert you to the phone or the door bell. We remind you when it’s time to eat or when to go to bed. Your wallet might be heavier without us, but your spirits would sag, too.
So from all the pets who have homes and all the homeless pets waiting in shelters, here’s a message to the humans: Stay on Santa’s nice list by taking good care of your pets. And we’ll return the favor and take good care of you, too! Isn’t that nice?
Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Whatever your faith or tradition, I send my love!